Well, things lately have been so far beyond stressful that its not even funny.  My husband and I are from the same area so we each have family where we are currently living again.  For starters he knew even before he got out of the military that I did NOT want to move back up here...because I didnt want to live our lives right underneath family.  Pretty much  Everyday of the week we are with his family...and rarely near mine...which I dont mind but to show favoritism like that isnt right..and I keep trying to tell him that but he doesnt want to listen.  Other than that, Everytime I try to express how I feel he thinks Im being B*tchy, or paranoid.  And its not even that, he knows about alot of the things I had to go through when I was a child...and he is forcing us to be back up here where it all happened and expects me to be ok with it all.  And Im not...but anytime I try to talk to him, he gets defensive and treats me like sh*t.  Now if I cant talk to the one person who b*tches that I dont talk to him, even though this is how he treats me when I try...what is the point of me really being here?  Its already like I dont exsist.  Other than that, yeah we are living with a friend of mine which is great, but at the same time this is a girl who refuses help...and who is into Self Hurting, and who has tried to kill herself a few times over the last few years.  She acts like Im stupid at times...even though that is something I used to think about(offing myself) and sh*t I used to do...and what gets me there is she claims to trust me yet she classifies me with all those other people who have f*cked her over in the past few years.  Yet, Im NOT them...I am NOT like the a**holes around here, and I take great pride in NOT being like them.  I just wish that people would actually listen to me without giving me sh*t or treating me like Im f*ckin stupid.  And people wonder why I dont believe anyone...or really talk to anyone...Its like well gee, how about ya listen a little better, and actually listen not just fake listening...or getting defensive where I cant even talk to you...its pointless.  And people wonder why I dont want to be here...and why I stay to myself, its alot easier sometimes.  But then Im not allowed to be depressed either...but no one listens to me...or really cares about whats going on what I need...or anything.  Yet Im supposed to take care of everyone else's sh*t.  Well f*ck that shit...if ya show me ya care about me fine, if not f*ck you too...Im not taking this sh*t anymore.  Anyway thank you guys for allowing me to vent...I pretty much had no where else to turn to.

Loves,

Nichole